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Oyster
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I can’t take this rejection!!!
Posted by Oyster on January 29, 2008
Cross-posted to Oy Bay.
I wrote this very heart-felt (over-felt?) letter to my dear CBDYAG googlegroup, only to be turned down & rejected. I can’t handle this kind of rejection! So, to my spurned lover, I will post it online, for the whole frickin’ world to see. Ha! Take that, you soulless email server!
Greetings, and salutations!!!Allow myself to introduce… myself.
My name is Oyster. You won’t find my namesake on any CBD buffet. But
you will find lotsa CBDYAG / YAGaggites in the buffet line.
If you want to learn vital secrets about how to:
1) stay awake during services
2) learn secret passages in the shul
3) get to the front of the buffet line
4) find the Kiddush Club table
5) tell a regular apart from a B’nai Mitzvah day-tripper
6) shock and appall the Jewocracy by studying Torah without someone
tweaking your ear (gasp!)
7) discern top-notch lox from run-of-the-mill lox
8) tell an awesome hagbah (see above) from the “go to the JCC some more” hagbah
9) amass an impressive collection of pink kippahs
10) learn where the various couches are (nuff said)
then, look no further than your friendly neighborhood shell-fish blogger.
Yalla bye,
~Oyster
I can’t take this rejection!!! « Oy Bay! said
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cbdyag said
Oyster as you noted, you’re not included in CBDYAG’s kosher policy, so consider our GoogleGroup keeping it kosher too. Nothing personal, but we have our Jewish rep to protect.
You’d be a pretty good docent for CBD, but we haven’t seen you there since last year and the times, they are a changin’. There’s new ways to tell who’s a visitor, Kiddish Klub members are mixing it up. Not to mention a Kiddish without lox, Hatikvah, and a women hagbah too.
Oyster, we’d love to have you “visit” CBD too. This Saturday they’re even installing the new CBD Board. We’ll save a seat for you at the Kiddish Klub table, which we assume from your letter you’ll be able to find.
Oyster said
Woe be the Kiddush Klub that mixes it up. Don’t assimilate!
What’s this about Hatikvah? And I can’t recall if I’ve ever seen a women’s hagbah…