I can’t take this rejection!!!

Cross-posted to Oy Bay.
I wrote this very heart-felt (over-felt?) letter to my dear CBDYAG googlegroup, only to be turned down & rejected. I can’t handle this kind of rejection! So, to my spurned lover, I will post it online, for the whole frickin’ world to see. Ha! Take that, you soulless email server!

Greetings, and salutations!!!Allow myself to introduce… myself.

My name is Oyster. You won’t find my namesake on any CBD buffet. But

you will find lotsa CBDYAG / YAGaggites in the buffet line.

If you want to learn vital secrets about how to:

1) stay awake during services

2) learn secret passages in the shul

3) get to the front of the buffet line

4) find the Kiddush Club table

5) tell a regular apart from a B’nai Mitzvah day-tripper

6) shock and appall the Jewocracy by studying Torah without someone

tweaking your ear (gasp!)

7) discern top-notch lox from run-of-the-mill lox

8) tell an awesome hagbah (see above) from the “go to the JCC some more” hagbah

9) amass an impressive collection of pink kippahs

10) learn where the various couches are (nuff said)

then, look no further than your friendly neighborhood shell-fish blogger.

Yalla bye,

~Oyster

http://www.oy-bay.org